Coping Mechanisms

As caregivers, we know the stress involved in day to day living, or even survival. One way that I coped with things at the beginning of my journey…was isolating myself. If I isolated myself enough, than people wouldn’t ask questions, and they wouldn’t know what was really going on.

What are Coping Mechanisms…and why do we do it?

When we are faced with difficult situations, or have experienced some level of trauma, we often experience some degree of psychological stress. Some examples of this:

• divorce
• job change or job loss
• death of someone
• school

For many caregivers of someone who struggles with mental health issues, we often witness psychotic episodes, suicide attempts, depressive episodes. To deal with these difficult times, many of us have turned to behaviours, thoughts or emotions to help us navigate what we are dealing with. Some of these can be helpful and others not so beneficial.

What is the difference between Defense Mechanism and Coping Mechanism?

Defense mechanisms mostly occur at an unconscious level, and people are generally unaware they are using them. One’s use of coping mechanisms, on the other hand, is typically conscious and purposeful.

Coping mechanisms are used to manage an external situation that is creating problems for an individual. Defense mechanisms can change a person’s internal psychological state.
(Good Therapy, Coping Mechanisms)

Styles of Coping Mechanisms

Problem-focused coping: this is a stress management strategy where we apply different strategies to help us deal with the issues that cause us the stress.

For example:
Learn: when they finally provided a diagnosis for my husband, I went out and got a book called Loving Someone With Bipolar. This book helped me understand symptoms of bipolar, and provided me with strategies for responding to them. This took away the unknowing factor which had caused me the stress.

Emotional-focused coping: this type of coping will help manage the feelings related to the stress of the situation.

For example:
Exercise – I recently bought an RBG pass and now I get out in nature with my dog when I need to breath and reset. Also... journal your thoughts, or talk it out with a friend

Adaptive vs. Maladaptive Coping Mechanisms

We can either deal with the situations in a healthy way that will promote well being, or in ways that produce negative outcomes.

Adaptative Coping Mechanisms: these are healthy strategies that are constructive, positive and promote well being.

Examples: join a peer support group, talk to a therapist, create an exercise plan, take a course in mental health, make time to seek out social events with friends instead of isolating, read a book!

All of these examples promote better well-being and will help you strengthen your resilience in a time of crisis.

Maladaptive Coping Mechanisms: these are unhealthy strategies that might have a temporary solution, but in the long run will not benefit you, and may promote more negative outcomes, rather than positive.

Examples: drinking, isolating, numbing to the emotion, avoidance, binge eating

All of these examples don’t promote well-being and might increase your stress response level.

What Now?

Like I said earlier, I tended to isolate myself from people, instead of dealing with what was happening. My husband was going through something I didn’t understand, so instead of seeking help, I avoided people. You can imagine…this didn’t help. It drove me deeper into myself to the point that I was extremely sad and even more stressed!

We all deal with stress differently, but we can all still apply the healthiest strategies to our situations. Isolating yourself makes things more stressful. When I ran a peer support group years later, sitting with others going through the same thing helped immensely! We shares stories, laughed and encouraged one another. We also learned from one another, and I applied those lessons to future experiences.

What are ways that you cope with stressful situations that you go through, and how can you improve and change some of the negative ones?

Referenced Material
Good Therapy
Verywell Health