Crying in Cars

It’s not where you would expect to find someone crying. In fact, I’m sure it’s rather awkward to witness……seeing someone sitting in their car in a parking lot, alone, and crying.

I’ve often wondered how many people saw me cry. I could have waited until I got home, but when you barely make it out of the hospital, the car is your first place of solitude.

Seeing your loved one in a hospital, at any time, can be agonizing. It’s not the place you think you’ll ever see them, whether for surgery or for sickness. A mental hospital… now that’s a whole other thing…

From the bare walls of an ER psych unit to a top notch facility with a gym and a hairdresser, we’ve seen them all. And, even the nice ones with their on-suites and outdoor patios, and, yes, a $3 hairdresser, can still be uncomfortable.

But every night after our visit, as I left to go home, I would wave to my husband as the two security doors locked behind me. Two. He would wait until I was behind the last door before he turned back to his room, and I would watch him go. This is the part no one prepares you for. Many times I would then walk to the security entrance, my eyesight blurred because of my tears.

It seems surreal, the idea that you are separated by three security doors from the person you love…to then make that long walk back to your car, in my case, alone.

So that’s where the parking lot comes in… it’s dark and I’m alone. The best place to cry.

I write this post not as a downer, but as an encouragement. Sometimes we feel that, as the person left standing while all the chaos explodes around us, we can’t cry. There are too many things to do, people are counting on me, the kids will be scared, I need to be the strong one, I need to keep pushing through….

Sometimes the best thing is a good cry. Being overwhelmed can be the worst feeling in the world – sometimes a good cry AND a good scream is in order. You are carrying so much on your shoulders. No one expects you to be perfect. No one expects you to have all the answers, or to get through this unscathed.

Did you know that crying releases stress hormones? It also helps with balancing our emotions. Endorphins are released when you cry and it helps with calmness – in fact, crying is a form of self soothing!

So, if crying in your car after you’ve just been grocery shopping, or you’ve just finished work… or you’ve just been at the hospital visiting someone you love… I’m here to tell you… crying is good. Even in a parking lot.