Seeking Out My Place

For many of us, the journey we have been on hasn’t left much room for ourselves. We are often in demand, whether that be from kids to work to homelife. Dreams we might have had at one time have changed. And, sometimes I find myself thinking that it’s just for other people, not for me.

Somedays it can feel a little hopeless, that feeling that time is passing by and we just can’t get on that train. That we are forever caught on a platform watching the trains come and go, watching joyful people climb up the steps headed for something exciting while we remain tethered to our bench.

Yea, that sounds bleak – sorry, somedays it just feels that way though. Caught in the you can do anything mantras juxtaposed against the reality of our lives. I’ve been sitting in this place lately – frustrated with how I look, how I feel, how I want to leave my mark.

So how do we do it? How do we carve out space for ourselves? How do we do it without finding ourselves resentful, frustrated and angry? Because its easy to just give up and blame others, or ourselves.

This is the year I turn 50. I don’t want to find myself saying, once I turn 50 I’ll look into doing that, or maybe I’ll be that person when….I want it to start now. I want to search for the person I am meant to be.

It starts now. Who is with me?

El cóndor pasa (If I Could) by Song by Simon & Garfunkel

I’d rather be a sparrow than a snail
Yes, I would
If I could
I surely would

I’d rather be a hammer than a nail
Yes, I would
If I only could
I surely would

Away, I’d rather sail away
Like a swan that’s here and gone
A man gets tied up to the ground
He gives the world its saddest sound
Its saddest sound

I’d rather be a forest than a street
Yes, I would
If I could
I surely would

I’d rather feel the earth beneath my feet
Yes, I would
If I only could
I surely would